HOW LONG TO WAIT BEFORE TELLING
OTHERS YOU ARE PREGNANT
If you havenít already told family members, friends and co-workers that you are pregnant stop and seriously read this page before making the decision to let the world know. Finding out you are pregnant is the best feeling in the world and its only natural to want to share it with others. Unfortunately with my personal experience Iíve found a lot of people including family members may not feel the same joy as you do which can cause a lot of pressure on you and pressure plus stress during the first three months of your pregnancy can be the worst thing. It can be even harder when you are young and itís a unplanned pregnancy.
After telling your significant other the wonderful news both of you should seriously sit and think about how family members will react to the news, whether itíll be welcomed with open arms or not. If there is no question whether either side would welcome the pregnancy then by all means find a creative way of telling them. Send a bouquet of flowers with a card that says Congratulations Youíre Grandparents!, Take them out to dinner but before they get to the table place a bottle of sparkling grape or apple juice (so the new mom can drink it too) in the middle of the table with the message ďWeíre going to have a baby!Ē across the bottle and see who notices it first. Toast to the special occasion after dinner, usually restaurants wonít mind providing extra glasses for the sparkling juice.
If you do have questions about how family members would act to the news wait until you are 12 weeks along before letting out your secret. The main reason why you should wait 12 weeks is after the 12th week mark you are less likely to suffer a miscarriage, your OB/GYN will agree to thatJ . A lot of women who tell family members, friends, bosses or co-workers they are pregnant before the 12th week mark and get a bad reaction end up going through a heavy amount of stress through that time which can ultimately lead to a miscarriage because of all the stress. You wonít start showing until the 5th month at the earliest so its not like theyíll guess. If you end up suffering from morning sickness treat it as best you can (1st trimester on this site gives helpful tips to treat it) and if you still canít help running to the bathroom a lot just tell people you have acid reflux disease which is basically severe heartburn which can in some occasions cause you to throw up and is similar to morning sickness with some people. As far as having to go to the bathroom a lot just tell them youíre drinking a lot of water these days which causes your bladder to fill up faster, it is true.:-)
The reason why I strongly suggest you take the measures above when you feel a family member, boss or co-worker will react badly to the news of you being pregnant is because I know what its like to feel so excited about being pregnant and finding out close family members donít share that same joyful feeling. With my first pregnancy my husband and I had just become engaged four months earlier and I had just turned 20. I was living with my grandparents to help them out because my grandmother had cancer and my grandfather was still recovering from a heart attack. When I told my mother she was very supportive of me, when I told my grandmother she was resentful and considered my pregnancy a big mistake in my life. I was very close to my grandmother so it hurt me a great deal and ate away at me through out my pregnancy. My mother in-law, on the other hand, has this psychic ability where anytime her daughter or daughter in-laws are pregnant she gets sympathy morning sickness. She ended up guessing I was pregnant the day after her birthday and even though she looked at is as well its already happened there is no use getting mad over it now. It ate away at me that I had disappointed her as well. My second pregnancy was similar in a way, I was 22. I told my mom and she didnít believe me until I showed her the test. After that she basically acted like my late grandmother to were she felt it was a mistake for me to only wait 2 Ĺ years before having another child. My mother in-law guessed right again but my sister in-law was 4 months ahead of me so my pregnancy was set aside to her.
I already know that both sides of the family look down upon our idea of having a third child in the future. I have already told my husband if I do get pregnant there is no way on this earth Iím telling either sides of our family until Iím 12 weeks along because I know for sure the response from each side will be utter disappointment and anger which is something no one needs when they are pregnant.
TELLING YOUR BOSS YOU ARE PREGNANT:
Even though you do have a right to tell your boss and co-workers that you are pregnant at anytime during your pregnancy and by law they canít do anything, its strongly advised that you wait to tell them after 12 weeks as well. As I said they canít fire you for being pregnant, its against the law, but I have known many people who have told their employer they are pregnant before the 12th week and most employers, especially men employers, will look down upon it because they know they have to let you take a day off once a month for your prenatal exams and then once you hit your 8th month you go in every other week and they know theyíll have to let you go on maternity leave for up to 6 weeks after baby is born which all in all they feel will lose a lot of work time. A lot of the women I have talked told me they had been treated differently in a bad way by their employer once she told them she was expecting. Iím not saying that happens to all women but itís a precaution worth taking.
When it comes to being a pregnant teenager the rules of being pregnant are completely different. There is no rejoicing when a teenager finds out she is pregnant, it is more a feeling of complete fear and not knowing what on earth to do especially how on earth to tell your parents. Unfortunately most teenagers who do find out they are pregnant at the same time find once they tell their boyfriend the boyfriend all of a sudden wants nothing to do with her anymore. Before telling anyone you are close to that you might be pregnant you need to make absolutely sure by taking a pregnancy test or getting a blood test done at Planned Parenthood which costs little to nothing. Missing a period doesnít always mean you are pregnant and by telling others when you arenít sure yourself can make a huge mess. The boyfriend may leave and even if he doesnít your parents wonít trust you anymore. Once you are completely certain you are pregnant tell your parents. I know itíll be hard to do but youíd be surprised how many parents have the attitude of ďWell its already happened, there is no use getting angry, the best thing to do is to help and give support.Ē Those parents who donít have that attitude eventually once you tell them and come across as wanting to disown you regret how they reacted sooner or later.